My parents died in February 1975
It was a snowy night; yes – the classic car accident
Many questions were asked but they were no longer alive
I spent a lifetime pondering on what that tree really meant

With dead parents you really have nowhere to hide
And at just 12, your future is pretty hard to see
Feeling sorry for myself and wondering why they had died
The only thing I really knew – was I really really hated that tree

I am taking down the tree
I can’t keep holding it in
I am taking down the tree
It will be my greatest sin

As destiny had written it, my aunt ‘n’ uncle lived in That Town
For six long years the bus passed that dreadful tree
I learned it was an Alder, not something more renown
I vowed I would take an axe and have my ‘vengeful deed

Having a plan gave me focus, and being too young taught me patience
I was boastful of my plan, my friends kept asking “When?”
I couldn’t explain my hesitation, I answered them with silence
I learned a lot about trees those summers, and how commitments end

I’m taking down the tree
I can’t keep holding it in
I’m taking down the tree
It will be my greatest sin

I went to school on financial sympathy but plans lingered at home
A freshman now in February, a smoking Husqy now in hand
I stood before my antagonist to give back the pain I was loaned
The empty road cheered Husqy’s whine on Alder’s final stand

My face was right, I cut the whine so I could hear the crash
The tree, the Alder, no longer stood and now was just a stump
I cried, I wept, not quite satisfied, perhaps was I too rash?
But I knew that I was justified, no arbor jury could bump

I’m taking down the tree
I don’t have to hold it in
I’m taking down the tree
It was now my greatest sin

College days were now carefree, with obligations met
A girl, girlfriend, fiancee, wife; my life was moving fast
Our careers now moving, apartment to a house we could get
With love spilling over in a child, my parents, the tree – the past

But the tree was not gone, in the next town was our house
Trips to Nana n Papa’s forced a road I could not replace
But the stump was not dead, now covered with sprays of sprouts
Time ate my angry, but the tree – now a  bush, disgraced

I’ve taken down the tree
I’m no longer holding in
I’ve taken down the tree
It remains my greatest sin

One February day, beneath stark blues,  I told my son about my parents
I explained how it was to be a kid without them, leaving the pain implied
He looked down the road, with what I thought was avoidance
Finally he asked, “do you know which tree? do you know where they died?”

“This is the tree!” I pointed to the stump, but really a disgraced bush
My son walked to the bush and started breaking off branches
I joined him, as he shared in my anger; both of us it seemed to push
But his moves were more gentle, and he stayed my hand leaving one branch

I’m taking down the tree
I don’t have to hold it in
I’m taking down the tree
It was now my greatest sin

We stood at the harvest, a single tall branch above the stump’s plane
My son looked satisfied at the worked we had accomplished
“Why did you leave that one branch?” I asked, more complained
“You don’t want to kill it do you? It doesn’t deserve it”

I told him, “I’ve always hated that tree and what it did to me”
“Dad,” my son said, “the tree didn’t kill your parents
“and its still a living thing. I thought you loved the trees”
“I do,” I said, “just not this one.” Now my eyes in avoidance.

I’m taking down the tree
I have to hold it in
I’m taking down the tree
It was now my greatest sin

The afternoon with my son did not go as I had planned
I realized he had none of my angry, in fact he was confused
He was right, I had learned about trees and the woodland
I did enjoy the forest and in this understanding my angry diffused.

I wondered how I could learn so much from my own child
And realized that was his innocence, that I had long ago lost
While I cloaked this lost as wisdom, I swear Adulthood smiled
And in this, more then anything, I now comprehend my cost

I have taken down the tree
I don’t have to hold it in
I have taken down the tree
It is now my greatest sin

I dreamed about the Alder, stood before it’s enveloping brilliance
So bright I could only look at the ground and mangled trunk
“I know your anger, I too wept at your loss,” words into silence
“The argument, the deer; chain-reactions, past effects, had sunk”

“You are right on your loss, your innocence was too short,
Your son, he sees, as I had wished you could have seen as well
To honor your parents, I offer your pain this resort
Please honor them, remember them, in your son – there’s no farewell”

I have taken down the tree
I no longer hold it in
I have taken down the tree
Forgiveness for my greatest sin

In the morning the dream was there, like warm coffee and the sunrise
I found the shadows were lighter, heard my family awaken
Shivered remembering the Alder’s words but also I realize
The past had receded, like an extended crucifix on my demon

Now as we drive down the old troubling haunted road
We remark on the stump that still continues to grow
And sometime, when I have time, and as my life has mellowed
I sit on the stump, lean back on a young trunk – and look down that long road

I have taken down the tree
I no longer hold it in
A son resurrected a tree
Grace received – for my greatest sin